Our Relationships with Others

Morality is how we relate to the people we know, our family, our friends, our neighbours … ethics on the other hand is the true foundation of how we create a society … when someone projects their subjective personal beliefs on to a society, it is about their ego, to make them selves feel superior, essentially it is self-aggrandisement … in doing so little by little we destroy society itself .. for the whole act of judgement or blame is about separation … about separating one person from another – for we must remember that condemnation does not liberate, it oppresses.

True love does not judge, nor does it have any expectations, it does not to say to someone, become this person and I will love you … or the opposite for instance, if you change from this person; I won’t love you – for that sort of “love” is more of a Cathexis, an expression of the surface of life, perhaps even conditional love.

How do we find a conscious love without distortions in it? Through knowledge and acceptance of self, and also with solitude and meditation. Without these, love gets mutated and distorted by the surface of life. If there is knowledge, acceptance and meditation, love evolves into devotion; it remains pure and then evolves into bliss, joy.

Disrespecting someone, judgement and ascribing fault, is used by the ego to separate us, like control, judgement, anger, competing, comparison, conformity are all other non-present emotional projections, they are ‘ego’ driven thoughts – and essentially meaningless, like all fears when faced they show their illusion and in doing so we find ourselves and our strengths.

Everyone has their gifts, everyone, and each one is an equally valid gift from the Universe.

Everything that happens is essentially without expression, it is only in our beliefs where we ascribe a meaning, perhaps even a duality to it, a right or wrong, good or bad etc., hence our minds via our beliefs created duality as we go along. When beliefs become primary, it can manifest through its own brand of particularism such as in a cult – there are cults everywhere from the private to even Public companies say Apple Inc and Tesla … all within are true believers of their ideology, their dogma, their lives are defined through the duality of their beliefs, for instance Capitalism is a quintessential expression of duality (I.e profit / loss is good/bad) – within families, all experiences seems are seen as either good or bad, right or wrong, family or not – under pressure, this evolves into a fear based “them and us mentality” a dismissal and disrespect for all that appears on the surface to be different, it is a given that all ideologies eventually destroy themselves, when the actual survival of the ideology and the outcome envisaged (the prophesy itself) becomes more important than the people it is suppossed to serve.

There are really good and wonderful people in the world, the thing that separates us is awareness that they exist and our beliefs – it is very important to know that no one has the right to define themselves as right and others wrong … as for the majority of humanity, it is much easier to judge than to think – To judge is to label and therefore negate others and so dismiss (often without revisiting that first judgement) – true humanity and strengths is to feel with empathy, compassion, understanding and equanimity.

I cannot ascribe fault anymore for it leads to separation, in the higher self there are no certainties, things can only be viewed through probabilities even possibilities … for instance it is highly probable that the sun will rise tomorrow – the reality is that nothing is certain, change is continuous and everything ends, well not so much ends but changes, for we are again in transition to what comes next?

Happiness comes only in true Freedom, it comes from within, not from people things or circumstances – follow your personal bliss, challenges that will come are how we grow and we use them to break through the shells that encompass our understanding.

We see everything through the present moment, the past, is our personal perspective of our experiences (filtered through our beliefs and values) … The future is our expectations, our wishes … but this present moment is our only personal reality … these are the Buddha’s words, along with many spiritual leaders (including Dalai Lama, Lao Tzu, Bodhidharma, Eckhart Tolle, Marcus Aurelius and others)

Challenges come from circumstances and from others ..

“When another person makes you suffer, it is because he suffers deeply within himself, and his suffering is spilling over. He does not need punishment; he needs help” – Thích Nhất Hanh

When we unite with the light, a spiritual union occurs – then it is the individual’s choice to integrate with the Higher self or not – for me it was easy, a no brainer so to speak, once you decide to integrate, The Grace of “God, the Universe, Brahmin, the Source – the higher self (call her what you will) starts to descend to us (normally over time, but it can I believe be instantaneous) we detach from the physical world, much of what you once valued in duality seems empty and illusory because it is, your love becomes abundant, unconditional and conscious, you can feel life, every form of life within you from the greatest to the least – there is now only one choice, which is to love, to understand, to have compassion for all life, whatever its form.

Here is a book, the Zen Teachings of Bodhidharma that helped me understand my personal journey to the light – perhaps it might help others on their journey!

A difficult revelation of conditional “love” is the judgement, perhaps disrespect , contempt or worse that it brings.

Perhaps no one at your home was able in a simple act of compassion or empathy to think beyond themselves and their attachments and ask how you were … for me, I guess that is the true expression of the experience – their ego driven actions, their true selfishness..

It’s a given, that no one has the right in being purposefully cruel for any reason.

If you have many obstacles in your path … consider, perhaps the Universe is trying to tell you something – perhaps that the path you are on, is not your path … be sure it is … for being on the wrong path and through your actions, you can generate Karma …

“As a man himself sows, so he himself reaps; no man inherits the good or evil act of another man. The fruit is of the same quality as the action” – Mahabharata, xii.291.22

We are all accountable for our choices, as I have learnt personally – do not blame those you who hurt you, for they are only instruments of Karma – Karma holds us all accountable for our behaviour in particular our actions towards others – how Karma will choose to balance the scales for the actions of others towards you and other life forms, is not for myself or others to speculate how. Alternatively, you may have chosen to be an instrument of someone else’s Karma.

I can feel only love and compassion for you all, if any truly wish non-judgmental spiritual help, then come find me … and we will work towards the light together, if you’re not up for that, no problem, find another, for when it is your turn you will journey to the light in this life or another, it is a journey we will all make. By staying attached to the illusions of this world, once can never be truly happy, because in being attached we are never truly free – and true happiness comes in freedom.

After a four-year journey on this experience, I have moved onto other things strengthened and enriched, you are each on your own, except of course for the infinite love and power of the Universe that is within each of you, but I am going to project my beliefs and say – your perception was that I was the problem however I believe I was a solution – fear itself is the problem.

I am thinking of you all as I write these words … face your fears … they are paper tigers … empty illusions. Judgment and blame separates us … the desire to control others comes from ego and fear and not taking your own responsibility for your part in an experience – controlling others controls you – instead stay present, be mindful and accept and flow … there is no way around pain or fear, the only way out is through.

Open your heart to those in need, do not make assumptions. You are not a judge, you are a coach, and in the future you may just be the guide that makes all the difference to someone else’s life.

There are two main motivators in life, love and fear. Choose wisely!

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A perspective on Life and Others

I find talking to people of like and different minds stretches our boundaries, takes us to places we had not dreamed of, breaks boundaries and brings new perspectives, even on the ordinary. Such was part of the reason I left Australia, I disliked intensely the frenetic, chaotic surface thinking that was the norm ….it was mostly about the self and self-gratification … and sometimes even just about survival, I felt in the environment I was within I could not grow any more …. for this was driven by the last thing I wanted to happen was to be on my veranda when I am 90 and think I should have done this or that, I want no excuses, no regrets. So now I often ask myself what to do, or where to next?

Please try not to limit yourself, the Universe will give us what we need …. I too have financial limitations … when I hit something that looks impossible, I always think, I cannot do this … YET … for your life can and will change in a heart beat …. Who knows what tomorrow will bring. For me to ameliorate such thinking, is to have my plans my goals and move little steps towards them, if for instance you wish to live in Provence in France… then think about a dream board … take baby steps and the pieces will slowly come into place, or an event could happen in your resources that makes it eminently viable.

There is an inverse relationship between faith and fear …. The more faith you have in yourself and the Universe the less you will be fearful …. Great Big Hugs!

The past is only for learning from … it does not define who you are or who you will become, in time, we hopefully forget what hurt us in the past, but never forget what it taught you!

Please … forget how things worked out in the past, for you were doing the best you could at the time – forgive what happened, for when you do you will find true freedom, … next time will be different because you are not that person anymore. Don’t limit yourself, the Universe has plans for you … the pain you have gone through brings us a lesson, at some point understanding this lesson will bring strength, which can bring a purpose … I know I went through what was effectively the same lesson three times, before the last and final one (so far) … that was the basis of so much evolution and growth in my life. I am told by my close friend and former teacher, that these lessons are us working through our Karma with the people concerned, to address our own actions or the learning experience which we have chosen …. One of my lessons was the nature of love, the difference between conditional love and love and the difference between a Cathexis and real love – the word love is such an overused word, that it many conversations it has lost its true meaning …. All these lessons are so subjective, I can only talk about how they affected me, I cannot present this as some sort of dogma, because to start, I am not a fan of dogma, it’s a bit like building a prison … and putting society in it … I don’t believe it is our role as people to generate dogma, or to project our beliefs onto others, but merely to help guide everyone back to their own divinity which they have forgotten for the moment.

We speak of others, lamenting on my own country or the countries I have visitied, let’s say America ( typical in some ways for the Western world) or other societies, I cannot in any way understand their thinking, or for the many, the lack of it, their insular behaviours examples like Trump and other unconscious people who are the epitomy of the Kali Yuga, the decline of humankind, such people are all about the ego, driven by an uncontrolled id (Freud’s model). Don’t judge them for as Jesus said, “for they know not what they do” just accept (not agree) and stay detached, the dogma of the current paradigm and the stalled emphasis of the almost dead consumer society that has created them – frankly no one knows what the next stage of society will be, there is no political direction, so its up to each of us to follow their own path

Just remember that everyone, every soul is in transition, from where they are, and given enough lifetimes, they too will reach the light, or in the case of Buddhism, Buddhahood.

Many times, of Twitter I have been accosted by some who have a different view than mine, sometimes abusive, I don’t enter into a discussion, because one must realise that we cannot change someone’s beliefs, (this they must do for themselves) – some are there on Twitter purely for their own ego, to tear someone down to enhance their own faltering ego and emptiness …. engagement with such souls is pointless. My response is usually “Thank you for your perspective”.

You may have an internal witness, if not as yet you will in this life or another … this entity acts to witness our thoughts, to ground us, to empower us, to allow us a different perspective on our thoughts, to question thoughts that come from desire, from the egomind, from our past and our “what is” – (in my case, it also acts to tear away or question the internal fears and erroneous as well as assumptive beliefs) that the normal subjective self-judgement would allow us.

When we master the art of staying present, still often we have to remind ourselves that the way to treat this thought, this circumstance is to be mindful, be present in the moment – that reminder to myself was and still is on occasion, a revelation.

The Yugas

According to the Mahabharata a Hindu epic scripture (the Bhagavad Gita, in only one part of it), there are four ages of truth ….. We are currently in the Kali-Yuga the last, the darkest and most corrupt of the ages – the attributes (?) of this age are all around us. At the end of this age, the dregs of mankind will be removed and we start again at the Satya Yuga, the Golden age. Needless to say, we will not be in these bodies when the new age restarts, it is called the Satya Yuga.

To start the first age, the Golden age – that Satya Yuga here – https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Satya_Yuga

After the Satya Yuga a decline marks the Treta Yuga

After a further decline brings about the Dwapara Yuga

After it comes the final and darkest age the Kali Yuga (now), a time of wickedness, when man kills another man.

For more informed information concerning the aspects of the Kali Yuga itself here and here

An interesting post on the Kali Yuga … The end of the Kali Yuga in 2025: Unravelling the mysteries of the Yuga Cycle – Here

I am sure there are people who spend their life analysing this aspect of Hinduism … know that I am not very knowledgeable in this area. Hence I would offer Sadhguru to explain the science behind the cycle of four yugas, and calculates the timeline since the beginning of the Kali Yuga after the Kurukshetra War. Here

Any thoughts are welcome.

Why you might not want to Visit India.

I understand why you might not want to visit India …. It is a most confronting experience; the contrast is so evident between the rich and the poor who have literally nothing …. with little of no opportunity to improve their lives … India over time makes you question everything you thought was human, equitable and caring and truly makes you wonder about how this can be … but for me it also stripped away my own past and the connection to all that was there – all these learning experiences .. become integrated and distant from your present moment .. they make you more present and understanding, because we have to be, continual awareness of your surroundings is critical … the effect was that it felt like the past was being pushed further and further away from the present … so for that I am thankful – now those past difficult times are absent from my mind … any hurt no longer exists – it is but a past memory without emotive attachment.

There are no social programs to catch the poor … human life seems to have little value … strangely it was a surprise for me to remember after I arrived in India that it truly is a third world country, I guess I had little concept of what that actually meant …. It reminded me of another country when I was a child of about 10 when Dad moved us to the Solomon Islands … (the nature of roads, buildings and infrastructure) but the Polynesian peoples are a much more open and sharing culture, or at least they were then …. The reasons why India is a third world country were everywhere around us …. Workmen trying to cut thick rebar (reinforcing iron) with a chisel and a small sledge hammer rather than a grinder or saw – taking forever – bamboo scafolding reaching high on construction sites … wages are low and safety procedures seem lax … for instance power cables running along what passes for a footpath at waist height – unterminated power cables open on the street ,,,, no way was I going to find out if they were live, by touching them …Beggars … the real ones … (those who aren’t working for someone else in an enterprise) some will accost you as you come out of shops, restaurants and tut-tuts …. Then on the human side you have the lone mother with her baby … this visage breaks your heart … you can feel it … a beautiful child just starting out in life … and it hits you like a brick that this child, whose mother loves more than life itself most likely has little chance of living a long life …. You just give what you can – they will accept what you give them, as little as 10 rupees (about USD$0.15)… for that much will buy a meal in the street stalls … The medical system is poor, some say abysmal…. I have been told that people can collapse in the street and people will walk over them … but won’t help them. When I was ill I went to the local private hospital … where I was treated by a Western Educated specialist Doctor – blood was taken … the other tests — all appeared online via a private link later the same day. The whole experience, the visit to Doctor, Tests and pharmaceuticals cost less than USD$25.00.

So Yes I understand totally why you don’t want to go to India as a tourist …. I know I would not go again unless I went with someone … someone to have my back – I had thought that if I went again, I would go to Goa … the former Portuguese colony on the West coast, south on Mumbai …. Much more familiar and accepting to western eyes and values … I am told.

Many of these observations are from the aspect of a remote observer – a tourist if you will … but when you live in one place as a base for months … the Indian people reveal their caring side, and their humanity … it’s just different from mine … they are a different culture, hence have a different perspective on life. I still receive emails from people I met there …. They like us are living day to day and trying to live and make sense of the present moment .. unlike us … the biggest aspect of their culture is that lack of caring for others, relevant education and hence opportunity …. It seems for many to be their ambition is to have a full time job in the totally bloated Bureaucracy – But perhaps that will change over time … I hope for the sake of the 160 million “Untouchables” that something does … for they are condemned by their birth in the most part, to a life we could not even conceive of.

As I said on one of my blogs … if you go to India …. (1) Only drink bottled water … never drink tap water (2) Before you drink the bottled water, make sure that the cap seal is in place as some sellers will refill water bottles with tap water – don’t drink this, for you will get ill. (3) Take toilet paper with you everywhere … true!

E.M. Forster said “When you go to India, you come face to face with yourself” – I couldn’t agree more!

Cyprus – Impressions.

Cyprus is a huge surprise in many ways in a small parcel …. urban developed areas close to , diverse rural areas and various mineral resources ( copper, iron ore, huge deposits of sandstone and limestone …. you can see the layers of earth … tossed up and tortured.. warped by the movement of the planetary plates millennials before … so diverse in the sea, the land … farming … surprisingly close to developed areas are the original small villages.. as with all humanity the surface of Cyprus covers human souls in transition … .

View of Paphos from the Marina / Port
Cyprus is in Eurozone and hence the currency is the Euro …. food quality is good, and not unreasonable (when you buy the wide diversity of local produce) – large supermarkets – well stocked … I am living in the town of Paphos, of about 30,000 people normally, population nearly doubles in the summer with European, UK and Russian visitors.

Small villages surround it, some are tiny …. roads in these villages are single lane, the width of these village roads aren’t much wider than the width of your car, they were designed for donkey carts.

Paphos has its own Bronze statue, not quite the “Little Mermaid” as in Copenhagen .. judge for yourself from the photo.

Map of the Paphos World Heritage site …
Cyprus has been inhabited for thousands of years and there is a responsible an refreshing attitude to history and in particular to archaeology … to the past .. where so may of the lessons of humanity reside. There is a World Heritage Site in Paphos, the map is shown here.

I have with the generosity of my friend Mark, been to many places, recently going to Latchi and Polis situated in the western, north facing area of the island …. it is quite wonderful to see the diversity of the island and by and large the friendliness of its people.

India – a happenstance, an inspiration

I have had many challenges in my time in India, culturally, emotionally, physically and health wise, they have dramatically changed me, to in my view, prepare me for what is to come.

More than anything they have changed how I look at large groups of people, the herd of humanity so to speak, it enabled me to change, to assume nothing, to project nothing, when we can do this we can push through the surface and to see them for who they are as individuals. People in India are little different to us, except in that they are a product of their culture, their community, their environment and beliefs, and this can manifest in many ways, one maybe an emotional repression, but remember they all want what we want at the end of the day … their life like ours is a reflection of the personality, for most of humanity this is the ego mind which creates our life individually and on a wider view, collectively for all of us.

This experience came as I hobbled across the road yesterday in Dehradun. A young man, without legs … sitting on a kind of board with wheels came up to me … it truly breaks your heart, but a big smile on his face changes the impact, changes everything – it hit me as it always does, that it is truly in our attitudes where we create our lives.

In the West we may have some expectations of life, he had none, there is no safety net for him here, no social programs … but he was smiling .. a lesson and inspiration for all of us.

It reinforced in me a way to live .. from humble gratitude, staying present, accept, flow and help who you can, how you can, when you can.

Where and what I eat … Dehradun India

Where and what I eat … Dehradun India

I am staying at Osho Hotel, during my learning experience whilst in Dehradun – it is probably a 3 star Hotel, but like everything its not the surface that is important, its the people, the experiences and the relationships that we build.

What to eat … here at least are the do’s and don’ts for me ….

Much of your diet will be a personal preference … although I do like spicy and mild curries normally, due to my recent tummy upset here I have scaled that back dramatically – the staff at Capisco have been very helpful in looking after me, during this time.

I normally eat at two local restaurants, the one at the Osho Hotel where I am staying, which is called the Capisco – the Capisco offers a varied menu, Indian with some Chinese meals … meats are Chicken and Mutton (Goat) and the service is friendly – the Kalsang is across the road – the Kalsang , consists of two floors, a coffee shop downstairs, (Yes, cappuccinos) with great milk shakes and simple eats on the ground floor and the restaurant upstairs, which offers Tibetan, Indian, Chinese and Asia food .. at both places the food is great and the prices are reasonable … no wine or alcohol is available at either restaurant … both normally have Wi-fi.

Remember there is no beef available in India … going into a McDonalds here is somewhat confusing.

Here is the Photo of the exterior of the Capisco, the Osho Hotel Restaurant and the Kalsang … directly across the road.

Capsico – Dehradun
Kalsang Restaurant and Cafe (Downstairs)

and the internal layouts

Capsico Internal Layout
Kalsang Cafe

Of course there are other places to eat, from the street food, to what one might call dives (quite good food – where the locals eat) to The President Hotel, but for me, I have come here to be way out of my comfort zone, to experience all aspects of India and life at ground level and not be in a cocoon of western “civilisation” … remember, Gandhi was asked when he arrived in London once “What do you think of civilisation” he responded .. “I think it would be a good idea!”