Our Relationships with Others

Morality is how we relate to the people we know, our family, our friends, our neighbours … ethics on the other hand is the true foundation of how we create a society … when someone projects their subjective personal beliefs on to a society, it is about their ego, to make them selves feel superior, essentially it is self-aggrandisement … in doing so little by little we destroy society itself .. for the whole act of judgement or blame is about separation … about separating one person from another – for we must remember that condemnation does not liberate, it oppresses.

True love does not judge, nor does it have any expectations, it does not to say to someone, become this person and I will love you … or the opposite for instance, if you change from this person; I won’t love you – for that sort of “love” is more of a Cathexis, an expression of the surface of life, perhaps even conditional love.

How do we find a conscious love without distortions in it? Through knowledge and acceptance of self, and also with solitude and meditation. Without these, love gets mutated and distorted by the surface of life. If there is knowledge, acceptance and meditation, love evolves into devotion; it remains pure and then evolves into bliss, joy.

Disrespecting someone, judgement and ascribing fault, is used by the ego to separate us, like control, judgement, anger, competing, comparison, conformity are all other non-present emotional projections, they are ‘ego’ driven thoughts – and essentially meaningless, like all fears when faced they show their illusion and in doing so we find ourselves and our strengths.

Everyone has their gifts, everyone, and each one is an equally valid gift from the Universe.

Everything that happens is essentially without expression, it is only in our beliefs where we ascribe a meaning, perhaps even a duality to it, a right or wrong, good or bad etc., hence our minds via our beliefs created duality as we go along. When beliefs become primary, it can manifest through its own brand of particularism such as in a cult – there are cults everywhere from the private to even Public companies say Apple Inc and Tesla … all within are true believers of their ideology, their dogma, their lives are defined through the duality of their beliefs, for instance Capitalism is a quintessential expression of duality (I.e profit / loss is good/bad) – within families, all experiences seems are seen as either good or bad, right or wrong, family or not – under pressure, this evolves into a fear based “them and us mentality” a dismissal and disrespect for all that appears on the surface to be different, it is a given that all ideologies eventually destroy themselves, when the actual survival of the ideology and the outcome envisaged (the prophesy itself) becomes more important than the people it is suppossed to serve.

There are really good and wonderful people in the world, the thing that separates us is awareness that they exist and our beliefs – it is very important to know that no one has the right to define themselves as right and others wrong … as for the majority of humanity, it is much easier to judge than to think – To judge is to label and therefore negate others and so dismiss (often without revisiting that first judgement) – true humanity and strengths is to feel with empathy, compassion, understanding and equanimity.

I cannot ascribe fault anymore for it leads to separation, in the higher self there are no certainties, things can only be viewed through probabilities even possibilities … for instance it is highly probable that the sun will rise tomorrow – the reality is that nothing is certain, change is continuous and everything ends, well not so much ends but changes, for we are again in transition to what comes next?

Happiness comes only in true Freedom, it comes from within, not from people things or circumstances – follow your personal bliss, challenges that will come are how we grow and we use them to break through the shells that encompass our understanding.

We see everything through the present moment, the past, is our personal perspective of our experiences (filtered through our beliefs and values) … The future is our expectations, our wishes … but this present moment is our only personal reality … these are the Buddha’s words, along with many spiritual leaders (including Dalai Lama, Lao Tzu, Bodhidharma, Eckhart Tolle, Marcus Aurelius and others)

Challenges come from circumstances and from others ..

“When another person makes you suffer, it is because he suffers deeply within himself, and his suffering is spilling over. He does not need punishment; he needs help” – Thích Nhất Hanh

When we unite with the light, a spiritual union occurs – then it is the individual’s choice to integrate with the Higher self or not – for me it was easy, a no brainer so to speak, once you decide to integrate, The Grace of “God, the Universe, Brahmin, the Source – the higher self (call her what you will) starts to descend to us (normally over time, but it can I believe be instantaneous) we detach from the physical world, much of what you once valued in duality seems empty and illusory because it is, your love becomes abundant, unconditional and conscious, you can feel life, every form of life within you from the greatest to the least – there is now only one choice, which is to love, to understand, to have compassion for all life, whatever its form.

Here is a book, the Zen Teachings of Bodhidharma that helped me understand my personal journey to the light – perhaps it might help others on their journey!

A difficult revelation of conditional “love” is the judgement, perhaps disrespect , contempt or worse that it brings.

Perhaps no one at your home was able in a simple act of compassion or empathy to think beyond themselves and their attachments and ask how you were … for me, I guess that is the true expression of the experience – their ego driven actions, their true selfishness..

It’s a given, that no one has the right in being purposefully cruel for any reason.

If you have many obstacles in your path … consider, perhaps the Universe is trying to tell you something – perhaps that the path you are on, is not your path … be sure it is … for being on the wrong path and through your actions, you can generate Karma …

“As a man himself sows, so he himself reaps; no man inherits the good or evil act of another man. The fruit is of the same quality as the action” – Mahabharata, xii.291.22

We are all accountable for our choices, as I have learnt personally – do not blame those you who hurt you, for they are only instruments of Karma – Karma holds us all accountable for our behaviour in particular our actions towards others – how Karma will choose to balance the scales for the actions of others towards you and other life forms, is not for myself or others to speculate how. Alternatively, you may have chosen to be an instrument of someone else’s Karma.

I can feel only love and compassion for you all, if any truly wish non-judgmental spiritual help, then come find me … and we will work towards the light together, if you’re not up for that, no problem, find another, for when it is your turn you will journey to the light in this life or another, it is a journey we will all make. By staying attached to the illusions of this world, once can never be truly happy, because in being attached we are never truly free – and true happiness comes in freedom.

After a four-year journey on this experience, I have moved onto other things strengthened and enriched, you are each on your own, except of course for the infinite love and power of the Universe that is within each of you, but I am going to project my beliefs and say – your perception was that I was the problem however I believe I was a solution – fear itself is the problem.

I am thinking of you all as I write these words … face your fears … they are paper tigers … empty illusions. Judgment and blame separates us … the desire to control others comes from ego and fear and not taking your own responsibility for your part in an experience – controlling others controls you – instead stay present, be mindful and accept and flow … there is no way around pain or fear, the only way out is through.

Open your heart to those in need, do not make assumptions. You are not a judge, you are a coach, and in the future you may just be the guide that makes all the difference to someone else’s life.

There are two main motivators in life, love and fear. Choose wisely!

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