Truthfully I do not know where I am in the process, but there have been many slow changes in me physically and spiritually, effectively in how I see and respond to the world in the more than the 9 months since it began.
The mind is powerful, but from a spiritual evolution point of view, it is only so long as the ego is subjugated …. Mindfulness brings the reality of perspective … I live on the basis of Accept what comes while staying present and flow .. though sometimes (rarely) I have to remind myself to be mindful.
Being on my own for so long – this has not been a choice, but to date a reality – though I have learnt so much in solitude – I don’t project my beliefs onto others concerning a spiritual path because frankly it is not my place, their own evolution must come from within themselves, their own growth, their own realisations … this includes change, if they are truly seeking, all growth will come from within.
When I first arrived here from India, aside from being very ill, I was in my own little bubble and had to consciously stretch myself to move out of this bubble to engage with people …. We must engage outside of our personal bubbles …. I want and continue to be kind to people as I can be …. why not …. such behaviour brings smiles … I like smiles – kindness brings its own rewards.
The thing about not working from 9-5 in a job for most days is one has to make up our own mind what work we will do, where will we focus our energy, how shall we keep ourselves busy …. I chose to travel and to learn. I shall finish this book and will publish another perhaps about life and travelling … it is said that the first book is almost always auto-biographical as was the case for me. Part of me wants to finish the book, and I will, but at this point I am not sure about publishing it …. I have had this thought that stays with me “A spiritual teacher’s role is not to teach dogma or project their beliefs, but to awaken us to our divinity, to show us how to look, not what to see’ – I do not believe in just teaching dogma (mine or anyone else’s) … as it is merely a reprise of my or someone else’s experiences or thoughts … teaching others this way means that they might learn – however others must realise for themselves – (But how can they truly understand the depth of someone else’s dogma) as they have not had the realisations that for instance I have had to get to this point – in my view, for them just to rely on dogma, is a weakness, dependant, not strong for they are dependent on another …. I believe we must show others “how” to look, but in a way by reminding them of their divinity, they will discover their own base, their own path to divinity.
Of course when one is striving to grow, books are a valuable resource that can really help, they can trigger us, especially when reflecting afterwards in nature.
I have been able to stay mindful … and this has a wonderful effect of negating the effects of the ego …. The idea of judgement of others for instance, I came to the realisation that when we judge others we are in fact revealing an aspect of ourselves that needs healing …. In duality it is almost inescapable to observe, but in my opinion to judge, to reach a outcome can be avoided, we do not need to go to this step … I have written about this previously here …. Also those thoughts that concern the future (fears) … it brings peace and detachment from my own future, although it doesn’t detach me from engaging with my environment.
The Kundalini Awakening process is firmly doing its work … each event, normally each morning leaves a feeling, as it slowly moves up my body, now at the neck, so if I am right … we have next the throat chakra, the third eye and the crown, or ? But of course, I believe the Kundalini is an intelligence, and a being, an agent of the absolute that is divinity, it knows how to proceed. I have thought that the Kundalini Awakening is the same or similar to Self-realisation …. The other day I brought the light forward, the light that I can always bring from within me … this now pervades all of me … I do not have to reach for the divine …. It is everywhere, all of me …. To bring the Universe, Jesus, Buddha, Krishna and others all I do is bring them to my consciousness and they are there … their aura, their divinity, they are is within me (and you) and feeling this divinity is without effort.
Perhaps you have a partner – that you and your partner are spiritually on a different path is not a negative or reason for unhappiness, there can be real respect and love for each other, it is rare, please truly value it, this may not affect your relationships in the physical world, for the actual evolution of the consciousness comes basically in solitude and allowing the realisations that come when they will, let them come, they will come in tiny little steps, each one incrementally building on the one previously …. You may not even be aware until one day you start thinking of things in a different way as for the evolution of the consciousness is a path, a journey of changing our perspective … part of the lessons in my case it was to understand the true nature of love, for most it is not love they feel, for real love is unconditional, a way to understand this is a “mothers love” … children are loved for who they are, and no matter what they do, they are still loved without limits – because most mothers cannot see their children without seeing themselves, their experience, their own process, for them, there is generally no possible separation between them.
The fundamental flaw in humanity is the infection called ego, the belief hammered into children that we are all separate, this empowers the ego and along comes the instruments of separation, such as comparison, competition, conflict and eventually war. Today war is a business carried out by the Department of War in many countries, including the United States, but from a world perspective it is facilitated by the UN permanent members of the security council, United Kingdom, Russia, United States of America, France and China … these countries along with Germany are focused on the supply and sale of weapons – we know that weapons kill …. This fact is something that they take no responsibility for …. That to me is what is so difficult to understand these so called world leadership. One set of numbers tells us that over 100 million people have been killed in various ethnic cleansing, genocides and democides since World War 2 – Yemen, Syria and Palestinians are just current examples.
There are some societies that do not develop the ego as we do in the west, for their focus is not on the self alone, or self aggrandisement and money, but on community and each other …. Goodness, what a wonder, truly may they inherit the world.